Writing as a means...

When I was a sophomore at the University of Tampa, I partook in a class titled "writing as a means of self-discovery." I had heard mixed reviews on the class, but more than anything, I was looking for an outlet to relieve a backup in my writing I was experiencing at the time due to a number of cross-roads I had come to in my life. For one, I had made the decision to transfer after my best friend - only friend in Tampa, to be completely honest - and roommate admitted to me she was looking to go back to Colorado. Another being I had unexpectedly fallen in love (Ugh, I just cringe at the thought of him actually being a factor in my decision making at the time, but I hadn't dated in nearly two years and was somewhat desperate. So, moving along...) with a friend of a friend living in San Rafael who wanted nothing more than for me to move back and be with him. Add the fact that despite my severe hatred of Tampa, my family lived two hours away whom I was very close with and saw often and there you had it - one gigantic mind fuck for my 19-year-old self to handle. So, what did I do? I signed up for the class and prayed that the answers were somewhere within myself only needing some arbitrary writing prompt found on my 10 plus page syllabus to be set free. 

Funny how life seem to repeat itself? Different names and places, of course. Maybe even different circumstances, different dilemmas. Yet a dilemma nonetheless. Understanding this, it occurred to me one night to revisit that syllabus and start the process over again. Only I had lost it in one of my many cross-country trips and turned to facebook stalking to try and find one of the classes ex-students for help. Luckily it didn't take long, and tonight I'd like to share with you the list of questions that in many ways changed me and my writing forever. Plan on having many of my answers posted here among my other posts. Whatever you find missing are those pieces I'm sure I still find private and hard to share. After all, we can't go exposing all of ourselves to one another...I don't plan to until I'm at least in my mid-60s anyway. 

My only request is that if you choose to use these questions, to only do that for yourself and not go re-printing things or claiming them to be your own ideas. Also what's listed below isn't verbatim to what was given to me originally. The person who was so kind to help me did have some of the questions written out, but others were simply guessed at based on her own answers. Enjoy <3

WRITING AS A MEANS OF SELF-DISCOVERY
Responsive Journal Questions
Illustrations and other scraps are encouraged !!!

1. write 5 sentences about a time when you felt you were genuinely sensitive to another human being’s feelings or situation.

2. write 5 sentences about a time when you either lost or found faith in yourself.

3. write 5 sentences about the first trip you remember taking as a child
 
4. write 5 sentences about stress and what makes you feel that way
 
5. who are you particularly sorry you’ve lost touch with?

6. who do you confide in?

7. who seems to most enjoy your company?

8. what makes you laugh?

9. recall a time when you really wish you’d said “yes” but didn’t.

10. what things do you find yourself most envious of?

11. describe the happiest people you’ve known.

12. make a list of five true compliments you could give yourself. Make a list of five each to give your parents and siblings. If this is hard, describe why.

13. describe the thing that you would most love to do that you’ve been putting off for some future time.

14.how would you imagine and like to be more respected in personal or professional ways than you feel you currently are?

15. Over the course of your life, who were the people who most helped you to believe in yourself and how did they do so ?

16. Write one paragraph each about how you are like each of your parents… the good and the ill.

17.Look down the road ten years in to the future. List the top three goals you have for the person you will be at that point. In a well developed paragraph for each goal, examine the value to you of that goal. In another well-developed paragraph for each, plan your route to reach that goal.

18. Without thinking about it first, write down the first five things that come to your mind in response to the question “what are things to be afraid of?” After you’ve written your list, write down the first five things you would have been afraid of at six years old. Then look over your lists and think about why each thing might be on it. Write one paragraph about two of the items on each list.

19. “Pages for an autobiography”
a . record as many new year’s eves as you can recall, going back as far as you can recall.
b . Write about all of your “best friends” going back as far as you can recall.
c . Write about learning each of the following for the first time:
  i. Riding a bike
  ii. Dancing
  iii. Playing chess
  iv. First kiss
  v. Driving
  vi. Typing
  vii. Manners
  viii. Using a computer
d. Write about all of the places you’ve lived.
e. Write about the first people, other than your family, that you remember in your life.
f. Write about all the vacations you’ve gone on, as far back as you can recall.
g. Write about things you’ve collected / collect now
h. Did you have a first love?
i. Write about any serious injuries you’ve had.
j. Write about all of the religious institutions or places of worship you’ve attended.
k. Write about the gifts that you have given your parents
l. Write about the last 10 times you’ve cried
m. Name all the pets you’ve had.
n. What was your first paycheck?
o. List all the things you’ve wanted to be (professions/careers)
p. When were you your happiest/saddest?
q. List your greatest successes/failures.
r. List books that have touched your life.
s. Who have you been in love with?
t. What makes you angry?
u. Write about outfits/clothing items/etc that you have been very attached to, as far back as you can recall
v. List a dozen books you’d like to read
w. List your fondest memories of your mother and your father
x. List any memories you have attached to scent
y. Is there anyone in your family you cant stand?
z. Is there any friend that you’ve helped recently? How?

20. Make a list of things you have, and things you don’t have, but need.

21. Write 5 adjectives about yourself. Survey 5 people close to you and get their answers to this same question. look for similarities.

Make comments on the outcome.

22. Complete the statements:
a. I’d be willing to die for…
b. I would be willing to physically fight for…
c. I would argue strongly in favor of…
d. I would quietly take a position in favor of…
e. I will share only with my friends my belief that…
f. I prefer to keep to myself my belief that…

23. Consider the following incomplete sentence: “I respect _________” Fill in the blank with the first ten things that come to mind. Repeat for each parent. Reflect on each list with at least one paragraph.

24. Recall a time when you felt a need to start protecting yourself. What prompted it? How did you feel? How have you continued to protect yourself?

25. List 5 people, non-family, you are grateful for, and why?

26. What were your early nightmares, and why were they scary?
What are your current nightmares, and why are they scary?

27. Describe a time or two that really tested your integrity or honesty.

28. What should a mother teach her daughter? What should a father say to a daughter?

29. If you hope to marry… how would it be similar or different from your parents ?

30. Who do you believe would make the greatest sacrifice for you?

31. Thank someone.

32. What do you think you “can’t?”

33. When can’t you say no? Who is it hard to say no to?

34. The most free, bold way you’ve expressed love…

35. What are you still holding onto that you'd be happier if you let go?

36. What problem have you been putting off facing? Describe it. How and why have you been putting it off?

37. Can you recall a tine that felt like a misfortune, even a disaster, but turned out to be a blessing?

38. What 3 or 4 things could you do to infuse your life with more beauty?

39. Describe the most significant disillusionment in your life. What illusions crumbled? What truths took their place?

40. “only the mirror can tell use who we really are…” agree or disagree? Write a 2-page essay on this.

41, Write about someone you’ve seriously wronged and never fully apologized to. Write a sincere apology.

42. For 6 nights in a row, record 5 streaming minutes of thought. No filters.

43. Complete “I am the kind of person who…” leave room to continue this exercise
as it changes or evolves.

44. List 7 of the people that you know best. For 3 of them, in their voice, complete “I am the kind of person who…” as you previously did for yourself.

45. Write, at any length you can, about your earliest memory.

46. Write about a time:
a. You were part of a team or group
b. Have these times been frequent enough?

47. Pick someone from your list of people in #44 and write a 5-minute stream of thought for them… like you did in #42.

48. Your Lifeline
a. Draw out your actual lifeline- birth, current and death.
b. Who are you? (nouns)
c. Your epitaph
d. Your obituary
e. Write about two ideal days in your ideal life
f. Your life inventory
  i. Happiest period of your life
  ii. A turning point
  iii. Your lowest point
  iv. What you want to stop
  v. Things to get better at
  vi. A peak experience
  vii. Peak experiences you'd LIKE to have
  viii. Values you are struggling to establish
  ix. One missed opportunity
  x. What’s something you want to start doing now?
g. Write and sign a “self-contract” about what you will commit to do for yourself.

49. Think back upon your life to an experience you feel may have scarred you, perhaps a time of intense or painful abandonment, betrayal, victimization, violation or shame. Write at least 2 pages.

50. Re-read what you just wrote in #49… now write about healing.

51. The most important things I believe about love are…

52. “Ask for what you want.” What do you wish you’d asked for that you didn’t? What do you wish you could ask for now?

53. Is there anything you’re doing now that you don’t fully believe in?

54. When did you feel your most wonderful, lovable, beautiful, whole? How old were you? What were you doing? Sights, sounds and smells…

55. Were there groups or other models when you were a teen that provided a sense of identity? How have you evolved?
 
56. Write a paragraph about an encounter between two people, any kind. Engage all 5 senses.

57. List ten people from history whose lives you would have liked to live. Write a couple of sentences for each.

58. List ten events in history you would like to have witnessed. Write a couple of
sentences for each.

59. Reflect on early years of your life. What unhealthy or unproductive themes or needs were formed? Write 1 pages about them and how to modify your life to be more productive and happy.

60. What have you found hardest to forgive? For how long? Will you be able to forgive it?

61. There are 2 students in the same class. One female, shy, pudgy, lacking confidence. Another, male, asks pudgy for coffee after class. 1 page of dialogue SHOWING what each is feeling. No “he said” or any descriptive, stage direction stuff.

62. Write a paragraph each about 3 public heroes of yours, 2 private.

63. “Future book” Write 2 pages. Your life will end right now. What will never happens which would have happened if you’d lived. Involve yourself and others.

64. “If you see in any given situation only what everyone else can see, you can be said to be so much a representative of your culture that you are a victim of it.” Are you a victim of your culture?

65. Do #17 again. Have your goals been modified?

66. Do #20 again. Have your needs been modified?

67. Re-read your journal. Write 2 pages about yourself as a stranger.