On point.

Someone showed this to me a few days ago, and I remember opening the link and hearing my breath catch in my throat. So other people think this way?


Maybe the idea that other people think this way isn't what I mean....Maybe the person who created this, posted it online and those who came across it only to move it along were all apart of this mathematical equation that this is how our brain works: we know what it is we truly want, but it isn't until a decision in eminent that we admit the desirable outcome, even to ourselves. 


Or maybe they work a little more like me: without the courage to admit what we truly want until we have to say it aloud, so why not make a spectacle of it? 


Either way, it settled deeply within me. And in that "a-ha" moment, I recognize that I've been trying to deny - for a number of reasons - this desire to disappear again. I know I talk about moving abroad to teach English, often even, but what have I really done to move forward on that path since Prague? I haven't, partly because I'm afraid of  failing without a safety net, and partly because I know what the reaction will be if I admit to that desire. 


I dream of just...waking up, packing a bag and going. Anywhere. Of watching as through a small window comes the scene of some far-off land rushing past at a thousand miles an hour just before you touch down. A place you hadn't until that moment created in your mind's eye prior to the movie reel introduction. A rough edit yours for the taking, to make over however you want. To be whoever you want to be, to do whatever gets you by, without feeling guilt for either. 


But that fear. 


What can be done with fear?